If I’m too much, you’re more than welcome to go find less. That is the energy I am bringing with me for the rest of my life. I feel like there are so many rules for women and girls in society; cultural expectations about what a woman is and what a woman should be, and it’s all bullshit. 

Stop Telling Us What to Be

You hear it all the time from when you’re little, right? Don’t be loud or rude or too much. Boys won’t like you if you’re noticeably smart (because that’s the only thing girls should be worried about). Be nice and sweet and god forbid anyone ever feels uncomfortable because that’s “not ladylike.” Act in everyone else’s best interests, even at the cost of your comfort.

Figuratively and physically we’re told to shrink- the diet industry is basically a metaphor for women’s existence; be small, be palatable, be something that’s “nice” to look at as long as men get to define nice. This is all disgusting when you really think about it. No wonder we don’t trust our own power, worth, or wants and needs. We’ve basically been gaslit by society since birth. And it stops now.

You Get to Be Whatever the F*ck You Want

Sorry, but we’re done putting women in boxes, ok? You want to be the innocent victim AND a mother AND a whore? Great news, none of those identities excludes the other, and if someone says otherwise they’re probably a dude with mommy issues and/or selling something.

Houdini, I hereby give you permission to stop contorting yourself into one box or the other, especially if it’s for a man. No. Take up space, just because you can. Men do it every day.

We are complex and wild creatures, and if a man doesn’t want to run with everything that makes you, you, then why the hell are you fighting so hard for him anyway? I know we’ve all been told that our worth is based on how we look (through the male gaze) and how many kids we have, but breaking news, none of that is true. You have worth because YOU find yourself worthy, and because you are a multifaceted person with dreams and desires and a vibrant and diverse personality. So go exist for YOU, for once, and fuck them all.

It Starts With You: The Bottomline

I can sit here and tell you that you’re worthy of what you want all day, but until you understand and believe that you are worthy of taking up space, nothing will actually change. You have to trust yourself and your innate desires and go for what you want all the while believing that you have a right to want it.

You need to say it to yourself till you believe it, that you are safe in yourself, and from this safety, you’ll grow into someone who isn’t shy about taking up space. Your space. You’ve earned it just by being here and being you. So take it. Take it with confidence in you, your head, heart, and vagina. All of it is you. 

Thank you so much for reading! Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were! Or head over to my website to learn more about how we can work through your relationship journey together.

And don’t forget to join my signature 12-week program, The Connected Woman, if you’re ready to go from anxious & insecure in your relationships to setting boundaries, healing yourself, and living your dream life!

See you back here in the next one!