Let’s talk about hot girl habits.
I saw something from Gala Darling the other day (if you don’t follow her, you should look her up) where she said, “High vibes are a habit.” And I fucking loved that.
I want to talk about this, because I think it’s something people don’t realize. Everyone’s always asking, “How do I be happy consistently?” and the answer is…probably not one you’re gonna like, babe. But like it or not, here’s how you can be happy consistently…
Building habits.
When I say I’m going to show you how to be happy consistently, that does not mean every moment of every day feels like the best moment you’ve ever lived. You are a human living a human experience. You’re going to go through breakups, deaths, loss, grief, fear, anger, all the things, because you’re a human and that’s what humans do. But I’m going to show you how to get to a place where for the most part, barring some intense shit, you’re pretty fucking good.
Personally, I still get triggered, but I move out of it very, very, very quickly. And that was not the case years ago. But it required building habits to support that…and it took consistency to build those habits.
Your frequency is something that you need to tend to over and over and over and over and over again. It’s not something you can adjust once and be done.
Think of it like starting a health journey. You want to be someone who nourishes their body. You want to be someone who takes care of yourself. And if that’s what you want, then you know that you need to go to the gym or do Pilates or running or whatever activity suits you best to get your body moving. You need to start building habits that a healthy person would have.
Now, imagine you start this health journey, you go to the gym, you do your workout, and then afterward you go, “Sick. I’m now a healthy person. I never have to go to the gym ever again.”
That’s not how that works. You have to go consistently in order to succeed at building habits and creating progress.
When I took time off from the gym after my surgery last year, it was mentally challenging for me to get back into the gym, because I could only do about half of what I could do prior to the surgery. And even though I’d succeeded in building a habit prior to that period, the lack of consistency killed it.
That decrease in progress was sobering and humbling, but that happened because I wasn’t consistent with it.
Now, I had a good reason; I literally wasn’t allowed to work out for three months. But regardless, it shows that when you’re not doing these things consistently, then you don’t get the payoff…and building habits isn’t the only piece. You have to commit to keep them as habits.
The same thing happens with our frequency. If we’re not doing things that make us feel good on a consistent basis, we’re not going to feel good consistently. If we’re not building habits that make us feel the way we want to feel, we’re going to struggle to achieve that state.
Not everything that feels good is good for you. And not everything that is good for you feels good.
Let that land: not everything that feels good is good for you, and not everything that is good for you feels good.
For instance, let’s take the example of the gym again. Doing the heaviest deadlift you’ve ever done probably doesn’t feel good in the moment. It’s fucking challenging, right? But afterward, you feel so good. You feel energized. You feel accomplished. It’s amazing, even if it didn’t feel great at first.
On the flip side of that, binging Netflix feels good in the moment. It’s relaxing. It’s entertaining. But it’s not good for you.
You know how I know? Because afterwards, you feel depleted. You feel lethargic. You feel unmotivated.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a little Netflix binge. But I have not binged Netflix in years.
I used to watch an entire season of something in one day, and now Drew and I will find a show together, watch an episode, then go to bed.
So I love Netflix. But I know it’s best in moderation, because binging doesn’t make me feel good. Watching it here and there does. So I’m building habits—like watching one episode a day—that make me feel good, but I’m not letting it spill over into the kind of stuff that makes me feel worse.
All in all, building habits now will create who you are in the future. Anyone you see who is fit, wealthy, confident, successful, conscious, self-aware, and/or in a healthy relationship is in that place because they’ve been building habits to create that reality over time.
For example, let’s say you’re a really shitty communicator; you would become a healthy communicator by building habits around communicating.
So when you’re triggered, building habits like making yourself take some space, then coming back and communicating what’s there for you, it will eventually become second nature.
For me, I’m working on building habits that are healthy, and I’m still in the phase of needing to put in conscious effort. I have to consciously think about setting time to go to the gym, figuring out what I’m going to be eating that week, all of that. But eventually, the more I work on building these habits, they will become who I am. They will become second nature.
Building habits starts with taking action. If we just took the things that we learned from podcasts, books, social media, etcetera and actually implemented them, our lives would change entirely.
Your ability to be happy consistently would skyrocket, because you would be implementing the actions and building the habits that make you feel happiest.
This takes work. This takes actively committing. If you drink a fucking lemon water one time, it’s not going to have an effect on you, just like if you have a coke one time, that’s probably not going to affect you. It’s going to be okay. But the habits that we engage in over the long run will affect you.
The life that you have now is a result of what you did six months ago, a year ago, two years ago, etcetera. The body, the sex, the love, the relationship, the friendships, the business…everything that I have is a result of the work that I put consistently from six months, a year, however many years ago.
People come into the coaching industry and they’re like, “Oh my God, Michelle, you’re making high five-figure months. Amazing. How do I get there?” And I’m like, “By working for it.”
That’s not to say that energetics don’t play a role. With manifestation, things can move very, very, very quickly, but the process still requires work. It requires you to have habits around creating content, around selling, etcetera. I wouldn’t be where I am today without taking action to build the habits that keep me, my business, and my relationships healthy.
So if you’re ready to be consistently happy…you have to be ready to work for it. It’s going to take time. But if you put in the work and time, you will become a happier person because of it.
Join MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY, a 6-week course on becoming the main character of your life and stepping into delusional confidence: https://michellepanning.com/main-character-energy
Get instant access to SHADOW HUNTER, a FREE 3 day event all about WTF shadow work actually is, how to do it, and how it’s going to completely change the way you do relationships forever: https://michellepanning.thrivecart.com/shadow-hunter/
Sign up for The Connected Woman course: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Join The Connected Woman EXPERIENCE: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman-experience
Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning
Website: http://www.michellepanning.com
I get it, girl. I’ve been there too. For years, I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious and pissed off.
I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected and abandoned. It all changed when I went through a break-up and thought “enough is enough. I cannot continue to repeat the same relationships with different men! Something HAS to change!”