Today, we’re going to be talking about rewiring your relationship to money.
If you didn’t know, yes, money is a relationship. You don’t need to know the energetics of money or do “money work” to have a relationship with money. Every single human on the planet has a relationship with money.
I have a relationship with money. You have a relationship with money. Everyone has a relationship with money, but no one has the same relationship with money.
Some people love money. Some people feel like there’s never enough. Some people hate money and think it’s the root of all evil. It depends on what stories we’ve been told, right?
Some people have a really great relationship with money where it can come in, it can go out, they can hold it, they can spend it, they can invest it, they can compound it, all of these things…and that’s beautiful. That’s ultimately what we want.
We want this safe, secure, beautiful relationship with money—just like we want with a partner, right? When you have someone, you want to feel secure with them. You want to feel like they have your back. You want to know that they support you.
The topic of money is something that’s talked about a lot in the coaching industry, but in the day-to day world, money is not a conversation that most people are available for.
Money is one of the most taboo topics on the planet. Our society as a whole has put a lot of shame on people for talking about money. I have met many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many people, particularly women, who carry a lot of money shame.
Money shame doesn’t only look like shame around how much you make; people often carry money shame relating to the way that they have spent their money in the past…or not spent their money in the past.
We take those memories, create these narratives around how we have been with money in the past, and make ourselves feel like that’s how we’re always going to be with money.
Money shame is why a huge part of doing money work is actually doing self-forgiveness work around decisions about money that you might not be proud of.
For instance, we can look at the very obvious example of money shame where you’ve worked your ass off, then spent all your money and had nothing to show for it. But money shame might also manifest as the opposite, where you’ve been hoarding your money and you actually feel money shame because you’ve missed out on experiences.
Maybe you wanted to travel, but you didn’t. Or maybe you wanted to invest in a program, but you didn’t, so you’re still in the same spot that you were a year ago because you’re so afraid of letting go of this money.
Neither version of money shame is a very regulated place to be. So what we want to create is a state where you are able to earn, spend, receive, hold, invest, and compound money from a regulated state.
When you’re in that place instead of trapped in a state of money shame, you’re not spending and then going, “Oh my God, I shouldn’t have spent that money. Oh my God, what am I going to do? Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”
That’s a negative feedback loop. And once you’re stuck there, you’re not even going to be able to enjoy the thing that you just spent money on, whether it was a nice dinner or new clothes or investing in a program. You’re not going to feel good about the purchase that you made or the investment that you made because you made it from a disempowered place.
Side note about money shame: if your confidence and self-worth and sense of self are built on things like the amount that’s in your bank account, whether it’s a lot or a little or whatever, that’s very shaky ground to be on.
Instead, you want to develop this really solid sense of self that that doesn’t fluctuate, regardless of how your bank account fluctuates. You don’t want money shame to be able to rock you off your axis.
So the first step of healing your relationship to money is that self-forgiveness piece, getting rid of that burden of money shame. The second piece is unhooking your self-worth from how much money you make or how much is in your back account. And the third step is to start to cultivate a really secure relationship with money.
For example, we’ve gone over the patterns of anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment styles. Those patterns don’t only play out in our romantic relationships; they can also play out in our relationship with money.
If someone’s more avoidant, they don’t want to look at their bank account. Someone who’s anxious might be refreshing their bank account all the time. Someone who is fearful-avoidant might spend their money and then unconsciously be like, “Oh my God. I want to get rid of the money, but I’m scared that it’s not going to come back.”
Do you see now how men and money can get tied together?
I want you to start taking note of your pattern with money. What do you tend to do? Do you see a program that you really want to do, but you don’t trust yourself to make the payment? Do you see a pair of shoes and go, “Oh, but where would I wear that? That’s such a special occasion thing. I never go out. Idon’t deserve to have nice things.”
Or are you maybe the kind of person who’s always spending money on other people? Don’t get me wrong, I love to spoil my friends; on my most recent birthday, I took all my friends out to dinner and paid for everyone.
The difference is, I don’t feel a responsibility to do that. I go out for dinner with my girlfriends all the time, but I don’t feel a responsibility to pay for things just to show that I’m a worthy human being.
So work on getting to know your patterns intimately. Start to clock it, own it, clean it up so you can start to really cultivate this juicy relationship with money where you feel supported, you feel taken care of, you feel like money has your back, and you’re not worrying about it.
This is what I want to teach you in my program Men, Money, Magnetism. I’m going to teach you about creating this really fucking juicy relationship so that you are a magnet for the kind of relationship that you want to have, the kind of relationship with money that you want to have, the kind of bank account that you want to have, the kind of sex life that you want to have, all of it.
I’m just so excited for this program, because it’s not me sharing things on an intellectual level, right? I’m going to be helping you embody it as well.
If you want to be part of Men, Money, Magnetism, you can find the link below to get all the details.
I’m so excited for this. It feels like revealing a new part of my personality; I’m actually looking at the background of my desktop right now, and it’s literally just red wine and Louboutins and this really sexy woman. It’s just oozing luxury and sex appeal and magnetism and feminine energy, and that’s really what I want to gift you in this program.
So if you’re feeling curious, come along. If you have questions, let me know. I’ll see you next time.
Ready to MASTER your shadows so you can magnetise high-AF-calibre men and fuckloads of money? Join MEN, MONEY, MAGNETISM now: https://michellepanning.thrivecart.com/mmm/
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I get it, girl. I’ve been there too. For years, I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious and pissed off.
I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected and abandoned. It all changed when I went through a break-up and thought “enough is enough. I cannot continue to repeat the same relationships with different men! Something HAS to change!”