This is your sign to stop people-pleasing and trying to meet others’ expectations! 

You saying yes to all the sh*t you don’t want to do, isn’t going to benefit you in any way shape, or form. 

In this post today, I’m going to dive deep into why we continuously people please and how it affects every single relationship we’ve ever been in. 

So, if you’re ready to start doing things for yourself and not others, keep reading!

Where people-pleasing comes from.  

There is a lot of judgment on people who people please because why wouldn’t they want to own their truth? People-pleasing actually comes from a place of not wanting to be rejected or abandoned. 

We don’t want to feel all these uncomfortable feelings so we just say yes yes yes all the time. A lot of the time, it’s from our past because most people learn that the word no is bad. 

If you’re a people pleaser, I want you to ask yourself what are you getting from that? 

Other people get their needs met because you say yes all the time but what are you actually getting? You may be getting the “good girl identity” but let me tell you if your attached to this identity, anything that isn’t that is going to f*ck you. 

So, the first step to stop people-pleasing is analyzing and being curious about who you are outside your good girl persona.

Is people pleasing selfless or selfish?

We think people-pleasing is selfless BUT it’s actually selfish. Let me tell you why… 

What you’re essentially doing is trying to control the other person’s perception of you. You want them to think of you in a particular way so you’re trying to control the narrative to ensure they see you in the best light. 

Every time that you people please, you are abandoning yourself! 

If you want people to stop abandoning you, you have to stop abandoning yourself first. If you have this issue, I want you to come back to yourself and ask what it looks like to NOT abandon yourself? 

For me, it’s sticking to my boundaries and saying no to all the sh*t I don’t want to do. That’s not me being lazy, it’s me being allowed to say no.

Steps to stop people-pleasing. 

The reason I know so much about people-pleasing is because I was that person. Now, I’m the complete opposite and I’m getting really good at my boundaries. 

Here are the steps you need to take: 

• Get connected to your body. 
• Take deep breaths. 
• Notice the different sensations. 
• Feel all the feelings and notice them. 

When you get connected to your body, you’ll start to realize the disconnect you had from yourself every time you people pleased. The more that you can slow down and embody mindfulness, the more you’ll get connected to your sensations. 

And the more you connect to your body, the more you can start to recognize your thoughts, versus saying yes automatically. 

Why You Need to Stop People-Pleasing and How It’s Affecting Your Relationships: The Bottomline

Thank you so much for reading! I hope this post helps you stop people-pleasing and get connected to the part of you that doesn’t want to be abandoned. Get clear on what your actual boundaries are in your relationships and recognize what’s healthy and what’s not. 

Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were. 

Secure your spot in The Connected Woman now! The waitlist is now open. 

See you back here in the next one!

EPISODE RESOURCES: 

Episode 2