Question for you…

Are you emotionally unavailable? 

Truth is, you’re probably not 100% certain of that answer. 

In this post, I want to help you get clear on what being emotionally unavailable really means and figure out the role it plays in your relationships. I wanted to talk about this mainly so that you can assess in another person whether they’re being emotionally unavailable or if you are. Keep reading to find out!

You are what you attract. 

Whatever you’re wanting to attract in your life, you better make sure that you are putting in the same energy as well. If you want someone who’s committed, honest, and has integrity, then you need to make sure you have the commitment, honesty, and integrity to match. 

Therefore, if you attract an available partner, you better be available back. Previously, I kept attracting emotionally unavailable men but why? 

Because that’s what was safe for ME!

When I met a man who was open and honest, it was a huuuuge no. This was because there was a safety factor in always attracting emotionally unavailable men – I was able to remain emotionally unavailable myself. 

Signs of emotional availability.  

Availability Sign #1: You can feel and express your emotions freely. For example, if you’re experiencing sadness, you know how to acknowledge that. You feel it, you move it through your body or into a journal, and you process that emotion. 

Availability Sign #2: You take responsibility for your emotions and understand where they’re coming from. You understand that your emotions and feelings are your responsibility and no one else’s. When you take steps to repair your emotions and communicate, you are emotionally available. 

Availability Sign #3: You are able to be vulnerable! Someone who is emotionally available can lean in and share things that may be difficult for them to share, even if it’s scary. And they feel confident in doing so.

Availability Sign #4: You are able to say no and have set boundaries. If you’re taking responsibility for your emotions and you’re making your partner responsible for their emotions, there are very clear boundaries there. This often allows you to see both sides of the coin.

Signs of emotional unavailability. 

Unavailability Sign #1: You keep your emotions to yourself and constantly deny them. If you’re telling yourself you don’t get angry or you’re not upset over something, you’re just numbing your sadness, which makes you emotionally unavailable. 

Unavailability Sign #2: You are experiencing emotional immaturity, which means you put your feelings onto someone else’s. If you’re not taking responsibility for the way that you feel and you’re constantly putting the blame on your partner, you are not aware of your own emotions. 

Unavailability Sign #3: You shield yourself from all forms of vulnerability. If you only give a certain level of depth in your relationship, you are not being vulnerable. If you can’t be vulnerable with yourself, you’ll never be able to be vulnerable with another person. 

Unavailability Sign #4: You’re scared to say no and set your own boundaries because you’re afraid of the repercussions. This is when you don’t say no because you feel like someone is going to reject or abandon you. And avoiding that conflict actually ends up creating more conflict within your relationship over time.

What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Available?: The Bottomline 

Thank you so much for reading! I hope this post helps you understand the difference between being emotionally unavailable and being emotionally available. Take a second in every situation and start to notice these signs I mentioned. Lean into them and recognize them because this is something that needs to be learned and relearned over time.

Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were. 

See you back here in the next one!