Hello, my loves. I am really excited to share this story with you today, because it’s been so fucking life-changing for me. I don’t even want to preamble. Let’s just get right to it—today, we’re talking all about why you have to stop settling for less.
Just the other day, I bought a Range Rover Sport. And that’s not just a flex, as much as we love a flex here. It goes way deeper than that.
I have wanted a Range Rover literally since I can remember. I remember being a kid, maybe eight years old, and my friend’s parents had a Range Rover, and I remember being in the back of her car and loving that thing so much.
I felt so luxurious. I felt like it was the coolest thing, and it’s been a pipe dream for me ever since. But for so long, I’ve kept telling myself no…until a few months ago, when I realized just how many kilometers my current car had on it. And I thought, “Well, I should probably sell it before I get way too many kilometers on it.” So finally, finally, I went to the dealership and I looked at the Range Rover Evoque.
Now, this is sort of the entry-level Range Rover. It’s still a luxury car, it’s still quite pricey, but it’s considered the entry-level option. It’s a lot smaller than the Sport, but I told myself it was fine. It was a good middle ground, because the top-of-the-line Range Rover is way pricier. It’s a way bigger ask.
The guy at the dealership gets the car out for me, and it’s this red color, which for me is not the vibe. Obviously it’s a demo, so I don’t have control over what color or what specifications it comes with, but still.
Anyways, I get in the car, and I just feel…nothing.
It’s a beautiful car, it’s so beautiful…but I don’t get any feeling. And if you’re into human design, I’m a sacral authority generator, so you would know that I’m waiting for that sacral response of fuck yes or fuck no.
So there I am, feeling absolutely nothing, and I get back to the dealership without a clue of what to do. Drew’s asking me, and I have no idea. I just want to think about it, because I’m caught between really wanting this car—really, really wanting my Range Rover—but still having to keep in mind what I think I can afford right now.
So I started making excuses to myself. (Not a good way to stop settling for less, by the way.)
“Maybe I didn’t have a feeling because it was red. Maybe once I have the black one, it’ll feel like mine. Maybe I should just do it. It’s close enough, right?”
Uh-huh. Sure, Michelle.
Anyways, the guy at the dealership texts me a week later, and I don’t even respond because I have nothing to say. Then right before New Year’s, I knew I had to go back, because there’s a year-long wait for cars in Australia right now. I’m going to be going to Thailand for three to six months with Drew soon, so by the time I get back, it’ll only be a couple of months before I’ll have my car.
So I go to the dealership and I test drive the Evoque again, and again, I’m just not getting the feeling.
Time to stop settling for less.
I finally told the guy that I really wanted to test drive the Sport. I wanted to see if there was a big difference between how I felt about the two cars and if I would love the Sport more, which the salesman basically guaranteed that I would.
Keep in mind, the Range Rover Sport is double the price of the Evoque. This is not a cheap car by any stretch of the imagination, at least in my world. There’s a reason I wasn’t ready to stop settling for less with this car right at the start—I was definitely hoping to feel all the feelings for the Evoque, but it just wasn’t happening.
So he grabs the keys, we go to this car, and I literally look at it and my whole body lights up. I open the door and I’m literally about to well up with tears because I get that intense fuck yes. It’s got this beautiful white interior and this beautiful steering wheel and this beautiful dashboard, and it’s just everything that I could have ever wanted.
So I test drive it. Of course I’m obsessed. I love it so much. They didn’t have anyone there to walk me through the finance stuff at that time, because it was Christmas, so I made an appointment to come back. And when I got there, I didn’t even test drive it again. I signed on the dotted line and bought it right there.
The thing was, I had so many stories in my head that kept saying, “Michelle, this is a very expensive car. You are not there yet. You can’t have that. Do you even deserve that? Oh my God, you should be spending this money on mentorship. You should be saving your money. You shouldn’t spend on this. How luxurious of you, how selfish of you. A car is a depreciating asset. That’s not a smart business decision. Do not stop settling for less. DO NOT STOP SETTLING FOR LESS.” Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It just kept going and going and going.
But you know what? My favorite thing in the world is driving. I go for multiple-hour drives multiple times a week because it’s my creative space. It feels like a meditation for me. So of course I want to be in a car that feels really beautiful and luxurious, and I’ve worked really fucking hard to be able to do that. I deserve that.
I deserve to stop settling for less.
The reason I am sharing this story is because we do this shit all the time when it comes to our lives—not just with things and investments, but with love, with relationships.
Think about the times where we get the “almost” guy, the “in-between” guy. Sure, he’s nice, he’s got a lot of the qualities that you’re looking for, but he’s not…I hate to use the phrase “The One,” because there’s no such thing, but you know what I mean. And the reason this happens is because we don’t trust ourselves to be able to wait.
I knew the second I put that deposit on that car that my frequency up-leveled; not because I’m stretched financially, but because I chose to stop settling for less. I chose to believe I am someone who deserves this level of car.
When we’re with men and we’re dating and we happen upon a “nice guy,” particularly if we’ve had a history of toxic relationships or unhealthy relationships, we may be tempted to settle in right there.
If your attachment style is anxious or avoidant—or both—you might not notice why this is wrong at first or realize that you’re failing to stop settling for less. You might think this is what it’s supposed to feel like, but you don’t feel excited to see him. He texts you and you’re like, “Ugh. Yeah, I’ll get to that later.” You’re not excited about talking to him or seeing him, but you think this is better than anything you’ve ever had, so this must be the thing, right?
We can get caught in that trap so much, particularly if we do not trust the timing of our lives. We don’t trust that we are going to get the relationship that we ultimately desire, so we don’t stop settling for less, because what if less is all we ever get?
Here’s what you have to ask yourself: if you didn’t know when the guy who truly aligned with your standards was going to come, but you knew for sure that he was coming, would you settle for what you have right now? Or would you stop settling for less and actually start sticking to your fucking high standards?
You have to believe that you deserve that thing you want so badly. You have to believe you aren’t actually required to settle.
That’s how you up-level: by making decisions in your life according to the fucking standards that you have set. By making yourself stop settling for less out of fear or distrust.
I made a decision after my last break-up that I would never drop my standards ever again. I decided I was going to stop settling for less, period.
That was roughly a year and a half ago. And then I met Drew, and Drew is literally everything that I wanted, and I have him because I was willing to wait. Because I was willing to risk the decision to stop settling for less.
Personally, I know that God has a plan for me. I know I’m being led. I have faith. I know that I am being guided, because I’m not made for mediocre relationships, and neither are you.
I knew that I wanted something extraordinary, and I know that a lot of you listening to this will be feeling the same thing, but you don’t fully believe that you can actually have it. And here’s the thing: you don’t have to believe that you can have it every second of every day. It’s okay to have moments of doubt, but you still need to be consistent. You still need to take action. You still need to connect with men. You still need to stop settling for less.
You’re not alone in your doubt; I had moments of my own while buying this car. I even asked Drew what he thought about it, and then immediately took it back, because I fully fucking back myself and I trust myself and I know what’s best for me.
So what frequency do you wanna play in? Do you want to settle into mediocre, or do you want to stop settling for less and actually hold yourself to your own standards? Because you actually get to decide, but you need to be willing to do your part.
There you go; that’s my story. I’m so excited. I’m so excited to get this car. I’m just so excited about what’s available in 2023. It feels so big. So many things are happening in this world, in my world, and on that note…now would be a really good time to get into my world if you were wanting to do that, because every time my frequency up-levels, my clients’ frequency up-levels too, naturally.
If you’re ready to step into your era of delusional confidence, sign up for my six-week course, Main Character Energy, starting in early January: https://michellepanning.thrivecart.com/main-character-energy/
If you want to go from feeling anxious AF about your love life to feeling confident, secure, and having unfuckwithable self-worth, join my program The Connected Woman, starting in early February: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman
Can’t choose? You don’t have to! Get the Main Character Energy and The Connected Woman BUNDLE: https://michellepanning.thrivecart.com/hot-girl-shit-bundle-tcw-mce/
Join The Hotline, a 4-week group Voxer container for you to plug into my mind: https://michellepanning.thrivecart.com/the-hotline/
Be sure to connect with me over on Instagram. I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were. Or head over to my website to learn more about how we can work through your relationship journey together.
I get it, girl. I’ve been there too. For years, I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious and pissed off.
I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected and abandoned. It all changed when I went through a break-up and thought “enough is enough. I cannot continue to repeat the same relationships with different men! Something HAS to change!”