Hello, my loves. Today, we’re going to be talking about why women resist tapping into their feminine energy.

This is a charged topic, to say the least. There is some fucking dogma around feminine and masculine energy, so we’re going to talk about it today…which is exciting, because that’s essentially what my feminine embodiment retreat Alchemy is all about.

Amazing things happen at retreats, and they have been some of the most transformative experiences of my life. But if you’re like, “Why would I go to a feminine embodiment retreat?” I’m going to tell you…and tell you why you might be feeling resistant.

How I Started Out

When I discovered feminine energy, I was very intrigued. As someone who had constantly been living in my head, I thought that I was very sexually liberated. I thought that I was very present in my body because I was a stripper.

Turns out that was a lie. So I signed up for an eight-day feminine embodiment retreat, and I remember getting there on the first day and being like…what the fuck  have I signed up for? 

When we were doing the breathing exercises, I was actually getting triggered. I kept thinking, “Why can’t you just breathe normally? Why can’t you just shut the fuck up? Why do you have to be that way?”

Long story short, that retreat kicked my ass in the best way, and it’s why I do what I do now. I didn’t consciously know this, but on some level, my body knew that I was in emotional pain—I was dealing with depression, apathy, anxiety, numbness, wanting to crawl out of my skin, feeling unfulfilled, etcetera, but I didn’t know how to tap into that. So I heard about this retreat, and while I consciously went, “That’s fucking stupid and weird,” my body, my intuition, knew that I needed to be there.

I wanted to give you that context before we go on, because I think it’s very easy to look at women who are embodied and think, “Well, I’ll never be like that. She just is the way that she is. She’s always been that way.”

No, bitch. I was not. I was not always this way. I was actually incredibly resistant to it…and I’ve found a lot of women feel the same way.

The Reasons for Resistance

Strong, Independent Woman

One reason why women are so resistant to tapping into their feminine energy is that growing up, many of us have heard that you should be “strong” and vulnerability is a weakness.

I heard this growing up as well, but it is so far from how I feel now. I absolutely see myself as a very strong woman, but I no longer feel like vulnerability is a weakness, though it’s still hard for me to be vulnerable at times.

I want to talk about this because when we grow up thinking that being a strong, independent woman is a flex, we actually miss out on the joys of intimacy.

We miss out on being taken care of. We miss out on being cherished. We miss out on vulnerability, and you cannot actually have true connection and intimacy if you don’t have vulnerability.

To be fair, there isn’t a lot of room in our society for women to actually be in their feminine.

If I had it all my way—which I do, because I run my own business—I wouldn’t really do that much in my luteal phase. When I’m actually bleeding, I’m not that bad. But y’all, after ovulation, this bitch is a banshee.

Now, I can create my schedule in a way that allows me to do less at that time, but the majority of women do not have that luxury. If you are a nurse, they don’t care that you’re on your period. They don’t care that you’re premenstrual. You still have to show up for your fourteen-hour shift.

So there’s not a lot of room for women to be in their feminine energy, where they are trusting their bodies, listening to themselves, allowing themselves to just be fully fucking expressed, etcetera. But there are ways to do it.

One Expression Only

Another reason women resist their feminine energy is this idea that feminine energy means that since you’re a woman, you should be exclusively feminine. You should only be soft, vulnerable, openhearted, whatever, and there’s no room for the other textures of the feminine.

Women often think that there is only one expression of the feminine, which is simply not true.

When we see traditional feminine energy archetypes, you often see the maiden. She’s usually got the vibes of softness and innocence; people think of a woman in a white dress running through the meadow, naive and gentle, nurturing, sweet, all of those things.

Now, the maiden archetype is beautiful, and that is an aspect of the feminine…but the feminine is also wild and bold and expressed.

For me, the feminine is everything that happens when your eyes are closed. She is your internal world. And you’re not exclusively happy 100% of the time, are you? No! You get fucking angry. You get sad. You get judgmental sometimes. You get horny, you get ecstatic, you get curious, you get playful, you get…everything, right?

The feminine is full expression. So when we dilute feminine energy to one texture, it becomes one-dimensional, and who the fuck wants to be one-dimensional? I don’t.

Unrealistic Expectations

Another huge reason that woman shy away from embracing their feminine energy is that there are these unrealistic expectations that are placed on women.

Like we just talked about with the maiden archetype, there’s also this idea out there that feminine energy goes hand in hand with this 1950s housewife vibe…which again, if that’s your truth, go live that trad wife life. I love that for you if that’s the truth, but if it’s coming from a place of, “I think this is what I need to do in order to attract and hook a man,” then it’s going to feel fake.

It just is. It’s going to feel like a façade, and it’s not going to actually have the outcome that you desire, because it’s coming from a space of manipulation. It’s not coming from truth.

Tapping into your feminine energy does not mean you need to become this “Yes, dear” housewife and commit to that life, all right? I’m living proof of that.

How to Tap Into Your Feminine Energy

So now we know some of the reasons why women might resist embracing feminine energy…but now that we’ve debunked them, how do you actually start tapping into your feminine energy after resisting it for so long?

Good news—I’ve got a podcast episode for that. Listen to Episode 156 of Unf*ck Your Relationships to hear how to sink into your feminine energy.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Are you a woman with all the knowledge, but none of the embodiment? Are you ready to remember who TF you are? Then you need to sign up for ALCHEMY – THE RETREAT: https://michellepanning.my.canva.site/alchemy 

Join The Connected Woman EXPERIENCE: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

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