Hello, my loves. Today, I’m going to be expanding on an Instagram post that I put up recently, because a few of you reached out and said you wanted to hear more about this topic. But in case you missed that post…

If you’re doing “the work” to manifest a man…you’re literally missing the point.

Connection to Self  > Romantic Connection

Now, I’m not saying that you don’t get to do manifestation work to manifest a partner. Absolutely you do.

I’m not saying you can’t do manifestation work; what I’m talking about is the internal work to connect to yourself, to connect with your internal world, to connect with your feminine energy, to reconnect or connect for the first time to your body, etc.

If you’re doing that kind of work to get a partner, you’re missing the point. The point is to connect with yourself for the sake of connecting with yourself.

The relationship is a byproduct of the connection to yourself. The fat fucking bank account is a byproduct of the connection to yourself. The drool-worthy confidence is a byproduct of connection to yourself. The amazing friendships are a byproduct of connection to yourself.

Are you picking up what I’m putting down? 

Intention Matters

Again, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship…but what’s the intention behind it? Because when I see women doing personal development work in order to get a man, it tends to come from a a foundation of self-loathing and a sense of incompleteness within oneself.

I want you to get really fucking honest with yourself right now: Do you believe  that having a relationship is going to bring you a sense of completion within yourself? Do you believe that a relationship will make you feel a sense of fulfillment that you cannot reach on your own?

I used to believe this. I used to believe that when I had a certain amount of money in my bank account, I would feel a certain way. When I had the relationship of my dreams, I would be happy. When I [insert desire], I would feel [insert result].

Turns out, that’s not how it works. So doing personal development work to manifest a man is literally missing the point, because if you want to manifest that amazing partner, he wants a woman who is already fulfilled within herself. He wants a woman that that knows she’s choosing him because he adds value to her already-fulfilled life.

Don’t Clear Your Calendar

This is why I always tell women to keep their social life when they’re dating. You don’t have to put any and all other plans on hold in order to date. Keep seeing your friends. Keep doing what you love to do. Lead a life that is exciting to you, because let me tell you…the relationship, it can come and go. It could be there one day, and it could not be there the next day.

That’s not to scare you. I’m just saying that life happens. And it’s important to live your own life, not shape it around your relationship, because if you believe that a relationship will bring you fulfillment…you will always be chasing something you can never really achieve.

Of course my partner brings so much fulfillment to my life. My relationship brings so much fulfillment to my life. And if for some reason we were to break up, I would be devastated to begin with…but I know I would be okay. I would survive because I have a strong sense of self within me.

When you do not have that strong sense of self, and you’re doing personal development work without building that foundation, it’s like you’ve built a table with four wobbly legs.

Let’s say each one of these legs represents something in your life: one leg is your finances, one leg is your friendships, one leg is your romantic relationship, and one leg is your health.

If you don’t have a solid foundation, and one of those legs gets knocked out…the whole table topples over.

Your Power Lies With YOU

Don’t do personal development work because you think it will give you a relationship; do personal development work to connect to yourself for the simple satisfaction and fulfillment of knowing yourself. Feeling yourself and inhabiting yourself is a way better fucking payoff than a man, let me tell you.

Though honestly, it’s one of those things that I can’t just tell you…you have to experience it for yourself.

Whether you’re doing personal development work through my programs, books you’re reading, another mentor, etcetera…do the work for you. Do the work so you can look back and be proud of yourself. Do the work so you can have something that nobody can take away from you, because that is where your power lies.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Are you a woman with all the knowledge, but none of the embodiment? Are you ready to remember who TF you are? Then you need to sign up for ALCHEMY – THE RETREAT: https://michellepanning.my.canva.site/alchemy 

Join The Connected Woman EXPERIENCE: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

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