As you all know by now, Unf*ck Your Relationships is a space where we do not tolerate bullshit. I do not blow smoke up your ass. I’m always going to tell you like it is, even if it’s not what you want to hear.

And with that said…let’s talk about your dating standards.

Michelin Star Service…or Burger King

A lot of you guys have Michelin-star standards for the rest of your life…but when it comes to dating and love, it’s giving Burger King.

Sorry not sorry. It’s just the truth.

I work with a lot of ( I still don’t love this phrasing, but I haven’t found a better way to say it) high-value women just like you. I’ve seen how this plays out.

You’ve got standards for your health. You’ve got standards for your skincare routine. You have standards for your wardrobe. You have standards for your career. You have standards for your friendships.

You will not tolerate low-effort energy in 95% of your life…but when it comes to your love life, all of the sudden that all flies out the window.

Suddenly, you’re consistently giving the benefit of the doubt where it hasn’t been earned. You’re ignoring red flags or actively giving excuses for them. You’re giving second and third and fortieth chances.

For a woman who expects excellence from everything else in her life, you’re letting the bar hit really fucking low when it comes to love. So let’s get that unfucked, shall we?

Holding the Line

Firstly, we want to look at where your standards are in dating.

You don’t keep friends in your life if they treat you like shit. You don’t stay at a job where your boss is being disrespectful. But when it comes to dating, you’re tolerating inconsistency. You’re chasing men who couldn’t find emotional availability if it fucking slapped them in the face. So what the fuck is up with your dating life?

Here’s the thing. You don’t actually have a dating problem; you have a standard problem.

As I’ve mentioned a couple times now, I’m back on the apps myself. (If you want updates about that, reach out on Instagram and ask to be put on my Close Friends list!) And being on the apps, it’s easy to project everything onto the men.

“Oh, they’re emotionally unavailable! They’re inconsistent! They’re avoidant!” Maybe. Sure. But the problem with your dating life isn’t the men—it’s that you’re not sticking to the standards you claim to have.

If you actually had high standards and stuck by them, you wouldn’t continue to attract men who are not able to meet them. If you’re dating someone and are frustrated by the fact that he’s constantly inconsistent, you can complain all you want about him not meeting your “standard”…but you’re the one who’s tolerating that level of bullshit instead of walking away.

Self-Respect

Your standards are a mirror of your self-concept. And I’m not just talking about practicing self-love here—I’m talking about practicing self-respect.

Self-respect is often overlooked in favor of self-love. But they are not the same.

Here’s an example of self-love vs. self-respect: self-respect has been a really big thing for me this year when it comes to my health.

I like junk food, all right? I love a wine, pizza, and Netflix binge as much as the next girl. And sometimes, self-love means indulging in that every once in a while.

But if my body is craving water and a walk and something more nourishing, and I choose the Netflix binge anyway…that is actually disrespectful to my body.

It’s the same thing when it comes to our love life. If you are constantly overriding your intuition about someone, or you are constantly projecting the lesson onto another person, or you are blaming men, or you are tolerating inconsistency, or you are listening to promises versus patterns…then you are actually disrespecting yourself.

Most people will project the lesson onto the guy by saying he’s disrespecting them. And there may be truth to that…but you’re attracting men who disrespect you because you disrespect yourself. Your energy field says that’s what you’re available for.

One way I practiced self-respect in dating? I had a dating experience where someone rescheduled a date. He rescheduled once, and that was fine—things happen, right? But when he rescheduled a second time, I ended it.

That could be seen as harsh. But a standard for me is a man who’s really anchored and rooted into his masculine, and that involves him following through on the things he says he’s going to do. He said he was going to plan a date, he didn’t, I’m no longer interested.

I want to teach someone how to treat me from day one. That’s what actually holding a standard looks like, not sitting around waiting for him to meet it over and over and getting disappointed when he doesn’t.

Ready to Set Some Real Standards? Swipe Right!

If you’re the person who has high standards for every part of your life except for your love life—or if you struggle with standards in every area—then I want to see you in my signature dating program, Swipe Right.

When I started implementing standards in my dating life, it became very clear where I could stand to implement more standards in the rest of my life. When you start in one area, your entire life slowly becomes congruent with the woman that you want to show up as.

But nothing is going to change until you do.

It starts with you deciding that you are ready for more. So if you actually want to put your fucking money where your mouth is, if you want to walk the walk and talk the talk and set the standards, that’s exactly what we’re doing in Swipe Right. The link’s below. I don’t need to sell you on it—you’re going to sell yourself on it, because it’s literally that fucking good.

See you soon.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

Sign up for SWIPE RIGHT, my signature dating program that is going to help you attract genuine, long-term love: https://michellepanning.com/swipe-right 

These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening 

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com