Hello, my loves. Today, the beautiful Rochelle Powell has graced us with her presence, and I cannot wait for you to hear from her. She is one of my incredible clients who I’ve worked with for a few years now, so I know she has a lot of experience and wisdom to share with you all.

Rochelle is an ever-evolving woman determined to experience all aspects of herself by fiercely leaning into her edges and exploring what it truly means to come home to herself. She moves through life with curiosity, a wild spirit, and a deep devotion to truth and connection. She’s even the host of A Homecoming Expedition, a podcast created as a platform to hold reflective, honest, and deep human conversations that invite others to come home to themselves too.

Meet Rochelle!

Michelle: Welcome to Unf*ck Your Relationships, my love!

Rochelle: Thanks for having me! I’m very excited to be here.

Michelle: I’d love for you to tell the people the whole story of how you started listening to my podcast, because the story is f*cking hilarious.

Rochelle: Well, back then I mainly entertained men on a casual basis, and I was convinced that I didn’t want anything serious. When men would say they just wanted something fun, I thought I wanted that too.

But in actuality, deep down, I wanted them to choose me. I wanted them to see the way I stuck with them for so long and finally pick me.

That’s where I was when I found you. I don’t remember how I found you on Instagram, but I remember that followed you, got super triggered at whatever it was that you were saying, unfollowed you, then followed you again, then unfollowed you…you get the idea.

I’d listened to the podcast here and there, but not consistently. So I was actually vacuuming my apartment one day, and you must have still been in the algorithm, because one of your episodes came on.

I was like, “I don’t want to listen to this shit, but I’ll just finish vacuuming and then I’ll go and turn it off.”

But in that time that I was vacuuming, I had the biggest fucking epiphany.

You were sharing your experiences, and as I was listening to your story, I realized, “Oh my God. I have been choosing these emotionally unavailable men because it allows me to stay emotionally unavailable.”

Michelle: I love that so much. When you first told me that story, I lost it. It’s so funny. “I followed you, I unfollowed you, I followed you, I unfollowed you,” and then the algorithm was like, “Sit the fuck down. You’re gonna listen.”

Rochelle: Literally! I forget the exact timeline of it all, but after that, I listened to the podcast consistently. I was still learning from it, but eventually I felt this pull to work with you. And the rest is history.

The Oddity of Intimacy

Rochelle: Like I said, I forget the timeline of events, but sometime after that, I ended all of my casual things. I told myself I wasn’t entertaining those casual things anymore.

Then I went to a rodeo, and I ended up having casual sex with a guy there. It was just habitual. It was what I did.

He didn’t do anything wrong, but for me it was immediately like, “I did it again. I just casually let someone into me, and that’s not what I want to do. This is not aligned for me anymore.”

After that, I abstained from sex for about six months before I relapsed with a guy, which is okay. But that was a really important time, because after that, I ended up doing the full pendulum swing that Michelle talks about, and I began dating the first nice guy that came along.

That was super crucial for my journey. Unfortunately, I was a bit of a tornado in his life, but from where I’m sitting, he was crucial to my journey in that he was the first person that showed me intimacy. And it’s been a journey to connect to that intimate part with myself since.

Michelle: Could you explain to people listening what you mean when you say that he showed you intimacy?

Rochelle: He was really curious, you know? He didn’t have a lot of sexual experience, and there wasn’t a lot of this shame or baggage that can come with that.

He had this softer, curious, younger energy in a way. He wanted to explore things slowly and try different things.

For me, sex before was really quick and detached. I was always absent in some way, shape, or form, whether that meant having a few drinks or many drinks or even blackout drunk, so to have this man take the time to look at my stretch marks in the daylight and talk about how they shaped my body was very beautiful.

Michelle: I really love that you gave that example. I can imagine how healing that would be for you to experience.

When people think about intimacy, they immediately think of sexual intimacy, which is absolutely part of it. But that thing about your stretch marks, that’s not inherently sexual, right? That’s not a sexual act, but it’s deeply intimate.

Feminine Collapse

Rochelle: After I’d worked with you for a while, I ended up attending the retreat. Before that, when I first came together with my ex, I noticed that I was in my unhealthy masculine. I was all about regimented, controlled schedules, and when bringing another person into that, I didn’t give a lot of room for error. And when the schedule wouldn’t go to plan, I would turn into an asshole.

We really worked on that at the retreat, and afterward, I was working on my ability to receive, my ability to go with the flow, all of those feminine things.

But I was outsourcing my structure and my consistency and my routine to him, and when he wasn’t showing up in the way that I needed, I was back to being a bitch again. It was like I’d moved this pillar in me to him, and that came with expectations and pressure for him.

Long story short, we’re not together anymore. That’s not wholly, solely the reason, but it played a part.

Michelle: So, when you went from being more rigid and controlling to trying to rest in your feminine to now coming back to yourself and balancing the two, what do you think helped you get there?

Rochelle: So for me, going back to my relationship, I had many aspects of my life explode right around that time, and I didn’t have a lot to give anymore. My partner and I were doing long distance at the time, and we really noticed that when I had nothing to give, he was then unhappy. Both of us saw that I was the source of his joy.

I ended up ending the relationship, not because I didn’t love him, but because I couldn’t love him how he wanted to be loved. And by continuing the relationship, forcing myself to give from a place of nothing, I was not showing love to myself.

That was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, because it meant ending a relationship with someone that I loved. But it meant I wasn’t unbalanced and overgiving anymore, nor was I coming from a place of rigidity.

No one in my life fucking understood. No one. They all thought, “Oh, Rochelle is just going off the rails. Look at how they were together. She’s scared of commitment.”

But in actuality, this was the biggest commitment I’ve ever made…because it was a commitment I made to myself.

Get Off the F*cking Fence

Michelle: What would you say to someone who’s on the fence about working with me?

Rochelle: Well, if they’ve made it through this fucking episode and they’re still on the fence…get off the fucking fence.

Truly, there is no comparison between the work Michelle does and the work other people do. When I wanted to get really clear on my vision for my podcast, it wasn’t a question of who I was going to call; it was a question of when Michelle was available to talk.

She doesn’t reflect herself to me; she reflects me to me. That’s the difference between what she does and what so many others in this industry do.

CONNECT WITH ROCHELLE:

Follow Rochelle on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ahomecomingexpeditionpodcast/ 

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening 

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com