Hello, my loves. This week is really, really, really exciting: I have one of my beautiful clients, Heather, joining me today!

She is a mother of three, a healthcare executive, and a self-proclaimed attention whore who loves deeply, leads fiercely, and never backs down from a challenge. I am so excited for you all to meet her properly, so without further ado…

Meet Heather!

Michelle: So, Heather, first of all: did you find me through the podcast? Is that how you discovered me?

Heather: Yeah. I am one of the people that started listening to your podcast sometime in 2021, so I’m an OG. I listened to one of your podcasts after getting out of a sixteen-year marriage and jumping into a brand new relationship, when I didn’t know anything about anxious attachment or fearful-avoidance or any of that.

I started getting really, really, really anxious in this new relationship, and I didn’t know what it meant, so I Googled something about anxiety or being anxious, and your podcast popped up talking about anxious attachment.

I immediately started looking into your work, though I was one of the people that just kept saying, “I don’t need this. I’m very aware of where my issues come from. I’m very aware of my actions and my behaviors.”

Three years later, I found myself going through the breakup of that relationship. And after literally three and a half years of looking at your programs, I finally decided I was worth it and signed up for The Connected Woman in 2025.

Call-Outs and Coming Around

Michelle: The reason I’m having you on here is because I’ve seen so much growth in you. It’s truly night and day. And while shit still comes up for you, you have so much accountability. You’re always willing to see your shit, even if it’s hurtful.

Heather: Oh, yeah. I have never been called out the way that I’ve been called out since I’ve joined your world. And six months ago, if I’d met you as a friend and you pointed out anything that I’ve now had to face about myself, we would not have been friends. I would have been right in your face going, “No way. That’s not me. Don’t say that about me.”

But the way you educate on life and experiences and then are able to call somebody out on their bullshit, there’s no other way to take it other than just be like, “Yeah, you know what? Fucking right.”

For example, one moment that sticks out to me so strongly is when we were on a call. It was 1:00 AM my time, and I was sitting there looking for someone to give me a pat on the head and tell me I was fine.

Instead, I told you my story, and you were immediately like, “Girl. If you were a man, we’d be dragging you through the mud over what you’re doing right now.” And I was like, “Oh shit.”

I sat there until three o’clock in the morning just thinking about how I could have possibly thought it was okay for me to treat people that way. Yet there I was, and all it took was one sentence from you for me to go, “Whoa.”

That day, I changed my entire pattern of behavior, my entire routine, my entire life. And I think about that every single time I go to make a decision now.

Michelle: I just love that, because rather than you being like, “Oh, fuck you, Michelle,” and running away from it, you took it and you really sat with it and changed everything.

Patterns on Patterns

Michelle: Can you take us back to before you joined The Connected Woman and share about what some of your patterns looked like?

Heather: Well, I started having relationships back when I was fourteen years old. My first relationship lasted until I was seventeen, and when I was seventeen, I met the man I eventually married.

I was with him for sixteen years. Then, when we were going through our divorce, I started seeing another guy. From there, I immediately got into my serious relationship that I am now currently rebuilding, which has been going on for four years.

So I’ve been in a relationship almost every day since I was fourteen years old. And every single time, I always had a backup person or had a way out of the relationship I was in.

When my marriage ended and I began my current relationship, I found myself becoming extremely anxious. I could not go an hour without hearing from him. I had to have his location. I had to have text messages. If he was sleeping in the middle of the night and I didn’t hear from him when I texted him at 3:00 AM while I was traveling for work, I’d freak the fuck out. As in, absolutely wild behavior.

I didn’t know where that behavior was coming from, because I didn’t quite have that with my ex-husband. But I didn’t recognize those patterns until I actually got into The Connected Woman and started looking in the mirror and started doing some of the embodiment work.

Hear More From Heather!

So Heather finally clocked her patterns…but what happened next? Tune in to Episode 218 of Unf*ck Your Relationships to hear Heather’s whole story and see how she owned these patterns, then cleaned them up through The Connected Woman!

CONNECT WITH HEATHER:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heather_rotan86 

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening 

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

Join THE CONNECTED WOMAN, a shadow work course for the woman who is ready to break free from the anxious/avoidant dance in relationships and step into unfuckwithable confidence, security, and self-worth: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/michellepanning

Website: http://www.michellepanning.com