STOP BEING PICKY. 

Have you ever been in a relationship before where you fall head over heels for someone and then end up picking at their imperfections? 

Well, guess what? We are humans and you are setting your standards way too high. 

In this post, I want to talk to you about being picky in a relationship and choosing between what you want and what you need. I see women fall into this “picky” mindset all the time so if this sounds like you, let’s dive right in!

Breaking down “nice-to-haves” versus “must-haves”. 

When you are assessing what you want in a partner, you need to get really clear on the specifics you want so that you’re not jumping into relationships with people who aren’t for you. 

After you break down what you want in someone, go a step deeper and discover what things are nice to have. Here’s the thing though, you have to be honest with yourself about which is which. Do you NEED someone who has a great laugh or do you just WANT someone with a great laugh? Really think about the difference between your wants and needs and see if you’re just being too picky. 

And remember, you don’t have to apologize for what you want. You get to want whatever it is that you desire, and you don’t have to justify that to anybody.

What qualifies as a relationship must-have? 

Ask yourself this question: What did I complain about most in my previous relationship?

Once you have that list, those are your must-haves.  

For me, I would always complain about my partner not being able to open up so I knew that I needed someone who was emotionally available. I needed them to have the capacity to be vulnerable and communicate their feelings and emotions.

Get clear on what you complained about in the past. Maybe men have never been consistent with you or maybe they were not loving enough? If that’s the case, a must-have for you would be consistency in a relationship and affection. 

My advice is to journal and figure out what this looks like for you. Breaking down what bothered you most in past relationships gives you an insight into what you value most.

Don’t dismiss people right away. 

Give people a chance. 

Let’s look at dating apps for example. If someone is a MAYBE, just swipe yes and have a conversation with them. You truly never know where things can go or what you might end up liking about them. If you’re curious, go for it because you just might be blown away. Don’t dismiss people because they haven’t written themselves out to be prince charming. 

You have to respect other people’s must-haves and nice-to-haves as well. You have your own list of things you need in a partner and they have theirs. If someone is looking for casual sex and your looking for a relationship, that doesn’t give you the right to call them a loser. Be happy that they’re even clear on what they want! 

And if you need help in upping your swipe game, secure your spot in Swipe Right now! We’ll break down your dating profile, your must-haves versus nice-to-haves and actually doing the swiping together on our calls! The waitlist is now open and ready for you to join today.

Are You Being Too Picky and Setting Your Standards Too High for a Relationship?: The Bottomline 

Thank you so much for reading! I hope this post helps understand the difference between what you need in a relationship and what you want in a relationship. Stop settling for mediocre because you’ve decided that’s what you deserve. Be honest with yourself and others and you won’t find yourself being as picky and upset in your relationships. 

Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were. 

See you back here in the next one!