Let me ask you this: when you see the words “feminine energy,” what do you think of?

Does being in your feminine look like wearing sundresses, putting on the perfect perfume, committing to a “clean girl aesthetic,” etcetera?

If it does, you’ve fallen for the overly simplified version of the feminine.

Pause. I’m not saying being in your feminine CAN’T look like sundresses and perfume and multiple steps to your skincare routine. I’m just saying that’s not all the feminine is.

Feminine energy is something that gets very, very twisted online. People think it’s about cooking, cleaning, homemaking, wearing dresses, being frilly, etcetera…but if you’re doing these things from a place of performance, if you’re still people-pleasing or overgiving or trying to earn love by doing more and more, that’s not being in your feminine energy.

There are ways to increase your feminine, and today, I’m going to teach you ten micro-habits you can introduce right now to get started.

10 Micro-Habits for Embodying the Feminine

Hand Placement

Micro-habit number one: place one hand over your womb before you go to bed. And if you no longer have a womb, or you don’t have a womb for whatever reason, you still have the energy of your womb.

I know some of you are going to be like, “Oh, you fucking lost me here.” But the womb is our center for creation.

Obviously we grow a baby in our womb, but even if you never want kids, you are still always creating, and the womb is at the center of that process.

Place one hand over your womb before you go to bed, or at various points throughout your day, and I want you to just feel whatever sensations arise.

Maybe you feel the heat from your hand over your womb. Maybe you feel the energy of your womb. Maybe you feel a gentle pulsation. Whatever it is, feel it. Pay attention to it.

When I first started doing this, I could not feel a damn thing. So if that’s you, don’t panic and be like, “Oh my God, I’m fucking broken.” You are building a new kind of communication, so it might take some time to get in tune with it. As you do this, you’re starting to build language.

By doing this, you are helping to rebuild safety in your body. This anchors you back into your feminine center, especially if you’re always in your head or always feeling anxious.

Also, the more that you connect to your womb, the better your periods can become. It has changed people’s fertility. There’s a lot that can happen when you do womb work, which is incredible.

Shrinking and Softening

Micro-habit number two: notice when you shrink your voice, then make yourself say what you really want to say.

That thing that feels edgy? The thing that feels too vulnerable and raw? Say it.

Feminine energy is expression at its core. That is what is so magnetizing about feminine energy in the first place.

If you look on Instagram or TikTok, not every woman who’s popular on those platforms is soft-spoken and gentle and baking sourdough. There’s also women who are fucking powerhouses and really going for it, but still come across as very, very embodied in their feminine.

Why? Because feminine energy is expression, not softness. And the more that you become okay with whatever you are feeling, the more you can express that.

Power exists in speaking the truth, even when—and especially when—it’s uncomfortable.

That’s the thing that’s going to actually move the needle toward you living an authentic fucking life, and it will completely transform your relationships as well.

Central Movement Matters

Micro-habit number three is at least five minutes a day of central movement.

You could also call this non-linear movement, which is what Michaela Bowen says. You could call it unstructured movement. You could just call it fucking around to music. You could call it whatever, as long as you do it.

Feminine energy flows. It’s not static. It wants to move and it doesn’t have to necessarily move through physical movement. It can move through art. It can move through words and poetry. It can move through having a beautiful moment with your dog or your cat.

There are so many ways that feminine energy flows. But one of the ways that has been really, really impactful for me, and I’ve seen such a transformation when I’ve coached literally thousands of women through this, is sensual movement.

You put on music that matches the mood of what you’re feeling. It can be rageful, soft, playful, whatever you like. Build your own playlist. Put on the music, close the door and move in a way that has no agenda.

The feminine shuts down when she feels an agenda. Which is why, for example, when a guy says “So are you going to cum?” during sex, you’re immediately turned off. You’re like, “Well, I was, until you said that.”

Why? Because your feminine energy sensed an agenda. So we want to avoid that here.

Sensual movement is not necessarily about being sensual. It’s just about allowing your body to move you instead of the other way around.

It’s not coming from the mind, it’s coming from the body. However your body wants to be moved.

It doesn’t need to be sexy. It needs to be real.

Ask Before You Answer

Micro-habit number four: ask your body what she wants before saying yes.

It’s easy to fall into people-pleasing autopilot and just say yes to whatever someone asks, even if we don’t want to.

“Yes, I’ll go to the party. Yes, I can take that project on even though I’m drowning. Yes, I can come in early tomorrow even though I’m exhausted and need the sleep.”

That is your unhealthy masculine overriding how you actually feel.

Real feminine energy is about being deeply attuned and listening to what’s actually happening in your body.

I know this can sound weird to beginners—it sounded weird to me too. But it really is important for anchoring into your feminine energy.

I always pause and ask, “What does my body want?” before just saying yes to something. And the answer isn’t always what you’d expect.

You might think, “Oh, if I asked my body what it wanted, it would want rest all the time. It would just want to watch Netflix. It would want to binge eat.” But I would argue that it may for a little bit, but after a while, you’re going to go, “Do you know what? I actually need some water. I actually need a vegetable. I need a long walk outside.”

It’s the same when it comes to relationships. In your mind you might be like, “Yes, oh my God, I’m a full fuck yes to this person.” But internally, your body is like, “Ugh. No. Get us out of here.”

Some of you might remember me talking about Mexico Man, someone I was obsessed with for years. I went with him on a little vacation, and in my head, I thought, “Oh my God, he’s so my dream man. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”

But physically, I was literally on the verge of vomiting every time I was around him because I was so anxious.

Does that sound like my body being on board with this being my fucking person? Uh, no. I think not.

Achievement vs. Aliveness

Micro-habit number five: swap achievement goals for aliveness goals.

This one is a game changer. To start, I want to say this: whether you’re a woman, a man, non-binary, etcetera, you have feminine energy. You also have masculine energy.

With the masculine, you’re also going to have that part of you that’s like, “I want to fucking achieve. I want to win. I want to kick ass and take names.”

That part of me is very strong, too. I love ticking things off my to-do list. But the problem started when I only was able to feel good about myself when I had achieved everything on my to-do list.

At one point, I had it all. I had more money than I could have ever possibly imagined. My friendships were amazing. I had an incredible relationship. I got my dream car. I was living in my dream house. I’d achieved all the external success…and I was deeply unfulfilled.

That was really fucking hard to feel. I crashed and burned a little when I realized I actually had no idea what made me happy.

So when you’re setting goals, I want you to think about how you want to feel, not what you think will give that feeling to you.

Let’s say you really want a healthy, loving relationship. You can have that goal, and we can put together a plan for you to get there, but how do you think you’re going to feel when you’re in that relationship? Juicy, safe, radiant, loved, cherished, etcetera?

Great. Now ask yourself how you can start to feel those things right now. Because if you’re waiting for the external to make you feel a certain way, you are going to be waiting really long time.

If you want to feel juicy, safe, cherished, radiant, alive, whatever it is, and you think that’s magically going to happen when you get into a relationship…you’ve got it backwards.

You feel it first, and that’s what attracts people to you, and you’re a lot happier on the journey.

Starts with you feeling it first and then that’s what magnetizes people to you and you’re a lot happier on the journey.

Pause Button

Micro-habit number six: practice pausing before reacting. Most wounded feminine energy shows up in reactivity.

This looks like blaming or deflecting. It could be going nuclear when something goes wrong. It could look like being extremely needy, or on the opposite end, it could look like stonewalling. “If you don’t know why I’m mad, then I’m not telling you,” you know?

That reactive behavior gets us into trouble. If you’re wanting a masculine partner and you want to predominantly be in your feminine, that kind of behavior is going to repel the person you’re looking to attract.

Does that mean that you don’t ever get to have a fucking moment? No, of course not. But we also get to recognize that there is power in the pause.

When you’re feeling triggered by something, can you take a moment and just take a breath before you react?

It’s all right for you to step away, breathe, and come back to respond. That is you taking responsibility for your emotions and really being in your feminine energy, because then you get to come back and share the vulnerability that’s underneath the trigger from a regulated place.

It’s Okay Not to Know

Micro-habit number seven: learn to say “I don’t know yet” without guilt.

This goes back to being on autopilot with our “yes.”

When people say, “Hey, do you wanna go to this barbecue on Saturday?” most people will immediately say yes and commit, even if they aren’t sure.

But you can also say, “Thank you so much for the invite. I’d love to sit with that, and I’ll get back to you tomorrow.”

The feminine is comfortable in the unknown. Most women are trying to figure every single thing out, but if you want to truly sink into your feminine energy, let yourself sit in the mystery rather than scrambling for control.

Admire Yourself

Micro-habit number eight: look in the mirror and gently admire yourself…or not so gently.

Look at yourself with reverence. Let yourself be seen by you.

When I took a client through this exercise, we were on a Zoom call. We were talking about this fear of being seen. And I went, “Right. I want you to grab your laptop and go into the bathroom. I want you to put the laptop down where I can still see you, and I want you to stand in front of the mirror and close your eyes.”

I then asked her to describe what was happening in her body, then asked her to open her eyes and look into them.

She’d look for a second, then look away or close her eyes or look at me instead.

I said, “See how challenging it is for you to even be seen by you? You don’t even wanna see yourself.”

So practicing this is important. When you’re looking, if you want, you can say things like, “I love the way that you hold yourself.I love your resilience. I love the curvature of your cheeks. I love the color in your eyes.”

Give yourself words of affirmation. Truly see yourself. Because if you can’t even look in a mirror and see yourself, how can you expect a partner to see you?

Stop Multitasking During Pleasure

Micro-habit number nine: stop multitasking during pleasure.

You cannot receive deeply if your nervous system is split in a million different directions.

Your capacity to receive is a muscle, and you need to start working it out, and that starts with being present.

Most people don’t recognize how difficult it is for them to be in joy and pleasure of any kind, not just sexual pleasure.

We’re eating a meal, and we’re distracted. We’re having sex, and we’re distracted. We’re talking to someone, and we’re distracted. We can’t even watch a fucking movie without also simultaneously being on our phones.

One of my biggest turnoffs is when I feel like someone’s not present with me, particularly during sex, right? If I feel like we are having sex and you are elsewhere, get out of me. I’m really not interested. It doesn’t feel good. It feels empty.

So stop multitasking during pleasure. Be present with your pleasure, whatever that is.

Safe Space

Micro-habit number ten: give your inner child a safe home inside of you.

When you’re so embodied in your masculine energy, you can hit goals and go to the gym and climb the corporate ladder like nobody’s business. Great. Don’t get rid of that drive.

But most of the masculine armor is built for survival, and that comes from your inner child needing other parts of you to come in and protect her.

So to embrace your feminine energy, you need to meet her. Speak to her. Hold her.

When you’re in the feminine, you have your grown-up mature woman who can reparent the little girl inside of you. We want to go through the process of maturing your little girl so you can show up in your full woman. Because let me tell you, if you’re trying to manifest a relationship or you’re trying to transform your relationship, and you want him to be in his rightful masculine, he’s not going to be attracted to you if you’re continuously reacting from the space of your little girl.

Come Work With Me

These micro habits are beautiful, and if you do them, you’re going to go a long way. But inside of the retreats I’m hosting, we go so, so, so much deeper.

This is not surface-level healing. This is not writing affirmations. This is not “Let’s make flower crowns and journal and sing Kumbaya around the fire.”

This is full-body, cellular, ancestral fucking healing initiation.

I am going to help you anchor back into your softness, your wildness, your magnetism, your radiance, safety, pleasure, sensuality, all of the things.

We’re healing this trauma at the fucking core. We’re rewriting your story with the feminine, rewriting your story with the masculine, and we’re bringing all parts of you home so you know that you’re meant to be there.

We still have some spots available if you’re wanting a private room. Those are so fucking close to selling out, so I would highly recommend that you get ahold of that.

You can hit the link below or you can DM me on Instagram. If you have questions, just say you’ve got a question about the retreat, and I would be happy to assist you.

Don’t let your fears get in the way of your liberation. Let’s get this done.

WORK WITH MICHELLE: 

These aren’t just retreats. These are where we turn your inner chaos into GOLD. Sign up for THE AWAKENING RETREATS now before they sell out: https://michellepanning.com/awakening 

Sign up for THE EXPERIENCE, an exclusive 12-month mentorship experience where you go all in on YOU (aka, you get direct access to me as a mentor, access to every offer I run over your year, and MORE): https://michellepanning.com/the-experience

CONNECT WITH MICHELLE:

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Website: http://www.michellepanning.com