Struggling with relationships, emotions, and everything in between?
Been there, done that!
In this post, I’ll be sharing a little bit about who I am, why I’m here, and how you can start to reclaim your self-worth WITHOUT needing the validation of men.
So, if you’re ready to drop all insecurities and doubts and learn more about transforming into the confident women you know you’re destined to be, then keep reading.
You attract what you please.
Whether you keep arguing with your partner, hate the job you have, or keep attracting emotionally unavailable men, it’s because on some level you want that.
I know you’re probably thinking, “Michelle, are you out of your mind? Of course I don’t want that!”
But hear me out…
We are ALWAYS getting something. There is always a payoff in every single situation.
For example, when I used to be a stripper, I would alwaaays say I would quit every May. Then May would roll around and I would hope nobody would bring up the fact that I wanted to quit. I would complain about being touched, dealing with drunk people, being around drugs but in a sense I absolutely loved it.
If you’re someone who keeps attracting emotionally unavailable men, get curious. Ask yourself what part of you actually wants this man and why? It might have to do with wanting to stay in your comfort zone (that’s exactly how I was.)
Why do we get addicted to that suffering?
When someone gives us a solution or gives us an out, we never want it.
I mean think about, when a friend gives you advice and gives you an answer to all your relationship problems, most of the time we never take it.
It’s because we want to complain, we want to stay the same, and we want to have that endless amount of love, attention, and safety.
Oh, and let’s not forget we get to stay in our comfort zone!
We also tend to believe ourselves over other people because our beliefs create our reality. If we get comfortable with emotionally unavailable men, any nice guy who walks in our lives, we’re not going to want…AT ALL.
Why? Because they don’t allow us to suffer, point-blank. The truth: If you didn’t want it on some level, you wouldn’t have it.
Ways to step out of the victim mentality and deal with the suffering.
Don’t demonize the fact that you love it. You already know you love it so just admit it to yourself and move on. Feel all the different sensations but feel them in a consensual way.
Practice breath work to feel all the emotions in your body.
Music is one way to give yourself an emotional release because there are so many different sensations with different types of music.
Be honest with yourself that maybe there’s something you’re gaining from the suffering.
Get curious and ask yourself questions.
Addicted to Our Own Suffering and How to Step Out of This Victimhood Mentality: The Bottomline
Thank you so much for reading! I hope this post helps you get really honest with yourself, admit that you’re addicted to the suffering, and stop putting yourself in a victim mentality. We’ve all been in this position and we all have something we love dealing with no matter how much suffering it causes us.
Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were.
I get it, girl. I’ve been there too. For years, I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious and pissed off.
I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected and abandoned. It all changed when I went through a break-up and thought “enough is enough. I cannot continue to repeat the same relationships with different men! Something HAS to change!”