Tip of the day: Water your own lawn before judging someone else’s lawn.
What I mean by this is that you BETTER make sure things on your side are tiptop before judging someone else’s. I see this alllll the time and I think it’s finally time to face this topic…
In this post, I’ll be sharing why we are so quick to blame other people (especially men) for our problems so that we don’t have to take responsibility and face the cold hard truth… that the problem after all, might just be you.
So, if you’re ready to take responsibility for your actions and look in the mirror without judgment, keep on reading!
Why it’s hard to look at ourselves and take responsibility.
I remember when I was in a relationship and we broke up, I looked at myself and realized I was the common denominator. It took that breakup for me to realize that I was also the problem, NOT just the man.
I spent my whole life blaming men for why I wasn’t happy. It’s the same scenario as blaming your boss for not liking your job or blaming your friends for all the drama.
There’s this concept called perception is projection.
What this means is that we cannot perceive something in someone else that is not already within us on some level.
When you look at a partner and you see they’re not fully committed, ask yourself, are you fully committed to yourself? Of course, you want a man to look at you and commit to your heart, BUT you have to fucking commit to your heart first.
Prioritize yourself before seeking love and approval from someone else.
What happens when you abandon yourself.
If you are constantly abandoning yourself and saying your boundaries don’t matter, then you’re telling the person in front of you not to worry about your feelings and boundaries.
We HAVE to look in the mirror first and this is EXACTLY what the Connected Woman Program is all about.
Want some advice? You have to make sure you’re living up to the standards that you’re setting for other people. Point blank!
Stop pointing fingers and take some responsibility. If you’re constantly attracting emotionally unavailable people, look at where you’re emotionally unavailable. Let me tell you, when I did that, it was a huge life-changing moment for me.
Here’s what you need to do: Make a list of all the things you’re wanting other people to do that you’re not willing to do yourself. Then simply start cleaning up your shit! An amazing audiobook for this that you can check out for more guidance is Loving What Is by Byron Katie.
Start acting like you’re worthy of love.
Take responsibility for LOVE. If you believe you’re worthy of love, then start acting like it. Someone who is worthy of love doesn’t take back their toxic AF ex-boyfriend who cheated on them over and over again.
If you’re worthy of love, you’re not going to stick around people who repeatedly violated your boundaries. Act like the things you want to attract in another person to receive the same energy back.
You HAVE to embody the characteristics you want in another human being.
Start leading by your own example. This is exactly what I mean by watering your own lawn before you judge someone else’s.
Newsflash, most of the time, it’s you who needs to do the work. Of course, there are different scenarios and I’m not referring to abusive unhealthy relationships, because there are times where it’s the other person taking advantage and manipulating us. If that’s the case, there are more serious resources out there.
Overall, let’s start being more responsible for what we can change. Let’s be devoted to ourselves. Let’s act in accordance. Let’s start watering our own damn lawn FIRST.
Thank you so much for reading! I hope this post was a huge eye-opener for you. If you’re attracting people who can’t open up, take a look at yourself first. If you keep on opening yourself to someone and they are not opening back, they might not be the right person for you because, at that point, you did what you had to do. Remember to take responsibility for the way you show up in your life!
Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were.
See you back here in the next one!
I get it, girl. I’ve been there too. For years, I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious and pissed off.
I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected and abandoned. It all changed when I went through a break-up and thought “enough is enough. I cannot continue to repeat the same relationships with different men! Something HAS to change!”