Hello, my loves. We’re going to chat about mindset work today, particularly my experience with shifting my own mindset over the past few months.
While I feel like I’ve grown so much in the past year, I also feel that I’ve really fucking quantum-leaped in my mindset over the past two months.
I’ve become truly unfuckwithable in my confidence, in my integrity, in my emotional intelligence, and in my identity in general. I feel like the external has fully caught up to the internal through this mindset work, which is really, really cool. Let’s get into it.
Let’s start with a mindset work story time.
I started working with one of my mentors, Felicity, back in July 2022. I literally was like a kid on Christmas the night before our call, I was so excited to talk to her.
I worked with her one-to-one for six months, and then I did her mastermind for four months. After that, I signed up again to her mastermind for another year, so I’m in until May 2024. And honestly, I don’t see myself leaving that space.
I also have another business mentor, Tayla, who is also fucking incredible. She’s my one-to-one mentor. But when I started working with Felicity, she was the first person who was willing to actually tell me the truth.
For the people in my programs, I’m that person. Someone in the Connected Woman experience told me the other day that it’s crazy how safe she feels in the group, because there’s so much honesty and directness. She thought she would be triggered by that much honesty and directness, but it actually helped her feel so much safer, because she knows people aren’t blowing smoke up her ass.
Felicity was that first person for me, and she really helped me to strengthen my directness. I have just become the most self-led, emotionally intelligent human that I know, truly.
I remember when investing 50k into mentorship, and now it’s just a given. Last year, I invested 250k or something into mentorship. It feels like nothing, because that’s just a non-negotiable. It doesn’t dysregulate me anymore.
Now with mindset work, there’s an interesting thing that happens.
Here’s an example of how mindset work changes things. Let’s say you’re anxious, and you tend to attract avoidant guys. What happens is, you’re initially attracted to that avoidant behavior on a conscious or unconscious level, but you still go for it. And then it gets to a point where you’re still attracted on an unconscious level, but you know that type of person is bad for you, so it requires willpower for you to not pursue that person anymore. And eventually, it gets to a point where that behavior becomes entirely unappealing to you. It’s so unattractive that it immediately repulses you.
It’s the same thing with mindset work. It takes conscious effort when we’re trying to strengthen something within ourselves. If we’re trying to become unfuckwithable, it, requires conscious effort in the beginning of our mindset work, but then it gets to a point where that’s just your standard.
One of the first examples of that mindset really landing for me happened when I first moved to Queensland over two years ago.
At the time, there was a housing crisis where I was moving, and everyone kept telling me, “Oh my God, it’s going to be so hard for you to find a rental. You’re never going to find a rental. It’s so crazy.”
You know what I said? “It’s not going to be hard for me. I’m not available for that reality. It’s going to be easy.”
People thought I was delusional. They were like, “There’s a literal housing crisis. You’re actually not looking at logic.” And I said, “Right. Because I don’t fucking play in logic.”
Logic hasn’t gotten me to where I am. Logic is not going to get you the relationship that you ultimately desire. Logic is not going to get you a six-figure business.
Now, there’s duality in that. We need to balance the masculine with the feminine. The feminine is the dreamer, and then the masculine is bringing that into form.
If we’re going to talk about business or relationships, it’s going to require the integration of the masculine and the feminine. So we need to combine the dreaming and the delusion of the feminine (I say delusion in a really healthy way, of course) and the logic and the structure of the masculine.
Another example of this is that I’ve been training a lot lately, but now I’m getting my boobs done again. And my trainer said, “Oh, it’s probably going to be really difficult to get back into training.”
I’m not available for that reality. No, it won’t be hard. I won’t allow myself to even fucking go there.
That’s not spiritually bypassing. That’s not neglecting fact. But why would I fucking play into that narrative?
So a few months ago, I decided that I wanted to take the next six months to dive into minset work and develop the most unfuckwithable, rock-solid mindset.
My mentor, Felicity…she does not get rocked by anything. She’s one of the most neutral humans I’ve ever met, and yet she feels very deeply. It’s not about bypassing at all, but we need to be able to navigate the highs and lows of life without getting utterly rocked every time.
For instance, if we’re going to talk about business, let’s look at this example: Let’s say you havea high cash month, and you go, “Oh my god, I’m having a high cash month! How exciting!”
But how do you hold yourself in a low month? There’s no fucking resilience. “Oh my god, it’s not working! Oh god, I have to change my strategy. I have to change my marketing, I’ve have to change my messaging. Oh fuck, what do I do? Plugging into my mentor isn’t working, nothing is working—oh, wait, I’m having a high cash month again! Yay, everything’s great!”
That’s not a fucking rock-solid mindset. It really isn’t. Mindset work develops a lot more resilience than that.
You want to do big shit in this world? Do the mindset work. Become unfuckwithable. And the only way to become unfuckwithable is to meet challenges and overcome them.
Now, there is a caveat in that, because I would say that one of my biggest strengths is how resilient I am.
I built a whole personality around it. It was all unconscious, but I did. I would pride myself on being so resilient, but the shadow aspect of that was I would follow it up by going into full collapse because I had to be resilient and tough and strong all the time.
In the midst of that, I noticed that there was a belief that I had to experience turmoil in order to be resilient. In order to keep that aspect of myself and to have that concept of self for my ego, I would continuously have to experience turmoil so that I could overcome it and prove to myself how resilient I was. “Oh my god, look at me, I’m so unfuckwithable. Look how neutral I’ve stayed throughout this.”
So I sat and really examined that, and was like, “Fuck that. Life gets to be so easy.”
June this year was my highest cash month. July was also pretty high. And the thing is…it felt effortless.
At some point, I fucking decided that life was going to be easy for me. Now, does that mean I’m never going to go through challenges? Does that mean I’m never going to be tested? Does that mean I’m never going to experience turbulence? No, of course I will, because that is the nature of the human experience. But I’m not fucking rocked like I used to be.
So, you want to have a mindset that’s unfuckwithable? Great. Start with my podcast. And if you are wanting to get behind the scenes, hear more about my mindset and mindset work, and plug into me as a mentor, then definitely come join The Connected Woman experience. Right now, if you pay in full in August, you’ll also get free access to Main Character Energy, which is like very much this vibe of becoming unfuckwithable and having that confidence that everybody fucking desires to have. And that’s an insane combo, by the way. To get that for free is wild. You do not want to miss out.
Join Main Character Energy, a 6-week course on becoming the main character of your life and stepping into delusional confidence: https://michellepanning.com/main-character-energy
Join The Connected Woman EXPERIENCE: https://michellepanning.com/the-connected-woman-experience
Apply for 1:1 mentorship: https://form.jotform.com/230497122673457
Ready to do the work? You can find all courses, masterclasses, and more right here: https://michellepanning.com/all-offers
I get it, girl. I’ve been there too. For years, I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious and pissed off.
I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected and abandoned. It all changed when I went through a break-up and thought “enough is enough. I cannot continue to repeat the same relationships with different men! Something HAS to change!”