Hello my loves. I got really inspired to write this post because I went and saw the Barbie movie over the weekend. I went shopping, and then I had some time to kill, so I decided to take myself on a little solo date.
That’s one of my favorite things to do. I love taking myself on a date, and I’m definitely going to do that more, because I love love love going to the movies by myself.
Anyway, I just wanted to have a very girly day, so I went and saw Barbie, and I have…Thoughts.
This isn’t just going to be a review of Barbie, so don’t duck out. I’m actually going to speak about masculine and feminine energy pertaining to Barbie, and then relate it into relationships, obviously, because that’s what Unf*ck Your Relationships is about, right?
Strap yourself in. This is going to be very cool.
So first and foremost, I really liked the Barbie movie. To be honest, I got a little bit teary at the end. There were some really beautiful moments. I thought the acting was great. I loved Margot Robbie in it. She’s just stunning.
Ryan Gosling with that fucking orange tan looks so bizarre with the platinum blonde hair. Definitely not the vibe for him. But that’s neither here nor there.
Quick disclaimer: there might be some spoilers in this. So if you haven’t seen Barbie and you don’t want spoilers, maybe don’t read this post until after you watch it. But also, if you don’t care, keep on reading, because I think there’s some great points in this.
So essentially, in Barbie World, all the Barbies are in positions of power. So you have Margot Robbie, who is Stereotypical Barbie, and she’s just pretty, essentially. And then you have a Barbie who’s a neuroscientist, and one who’s an astronaut, and one is the President, and one is a doctor…you get it.
Now, this is beautiful. It’s showing how women can do anything that they want to do, and they are powerful, and if you have a desire to be something, you shouldn’t let the fact that you’re a woman stop you from doing that. This movie says that you deserve it just as much as anyone, which I think is really, really beautiful.
Now, I have seen some controversy around Barbie concerning the idea that it did put down men for the majority of the movie and made them all seem useless. Because the Barbies have different jobs, but Ken is just Ken.
Ken doesn’t do anything. He’s just Ken, and he’s vying for Barbie’s attention and love and admiration.
Now, I understand the premise that Barbie is the doll, and she came first and foremost, and then Ken was brought out to be Barbie’s boyfriend. I’m not blind to that. I just think it’s pertinent to mention.
So what happens is the Ryan Gosling Ken goes out into the real world, discovers patriarchy—which I found to be quite amusing, actually—and then comes back and brings patriarchy to Barbie World. And then the women have to take it back, and they have to trick and manipulate the men into thinking that they’re in love with them, and then they go and take back Barbie World.
The thing is, it’s all very cute, it’s tongue in cheek, it’s all in jest. All in all, it’s a very lighthearted movie, and I think that there are some really beautiful scenes, which I want to get into later on. But first, let’s chat about patriarchy.
So first of all, the whole thing where women are in positions of power, and they are very useful and pedestaled while the men are seen to be useless…guess what? That is still the fucking patriarchy.
When I’m talking about patriarchy, I’m talking about attributes that are seen as feminine or pertaining to women being undervalued, and then attributes which are regarded as masculine or pertaining to men are privileged.
I don’t see it as this men-versus-women thing; I see it as the feminine-versus-masculine, and that’s what I saw in the Barbie movie. Even though it was women in these positions of power, it was still a pedestalling of the masculine, right? You’re only useful if you are doing something incredible.
That, to me, is what patriarchy is. It’s the pedestalling of the masculine. And when I say that, I mean the value is in the doing, which is masculine, not the being, which is feminine.
So when I speak to masculine and feminine energy, I don’t mean that men are masculine and women are feminine. You could have a masculine woman or a feminine man, and that’s perfect, and that’s fine, and that’s beautiful.
Every single person has both energies. So if we want to bring it down to the bare basics, masculine is doing, feminine is being. We’ll just leave it at that.
So even in Barbie world, there’s still a pedestalling of the masculine, where the value is in the doing, not the being. Even when Barbie was talking to America Ferreira’s character and said, “I’m not a rocket scientist, I’m not a neuroscientist, I’m not the president, I’m just ordinary. I’m just nothing,” she’s saying there’s no value in just being and doing nothing and just allowing yourself to just be whatever you’re going to be.
You have to be doing something to be valued. And this is what I see in our society so much.
“I have to be something. I have to work harder. I have to do more. I have to do more work. I have to go back to school. I have to—” Blah, blah, blah blah blah. We think we have to work hard for money rather than just allowing ourselves to lean back and receive.
Now, caveat, when it comes to money, I don’t mean you just sit on your couch and fucking wish money to show up in your bank account. Of course there is doing. But what we’re missing is the integration between the masculine and the feminine, between the doing and the being. I think we’ve got it backwards.
Now, if you think that only women feel the pressure of patriarchy, you’re sadly mistaken, because I believe that men experience it as well.
You have to be strong, you have to be unemotional, you have to take charge. And while those are all masculine qualities (with the exception of being unemotional), a man also has feminine energy. And whilst he can be predominantly in his masculine, there’s also a feminine side that needs to be acknowledged and nourished.
I speak about this in my Connected Woman program. Anyone who’s done the Men Module, you’ll know.
Guys are told by the time they’re fucking two years old that they need to man the fuck up. Don’t be such a pussy, grow up, etcetera. And that’s patriarchy as well.
We really need to get out of this frame of mind where women are so oppressed and men feel none of it. The whole purpose of feminism was to have equality between men and women, not women are better than men now. That’s not what it is.
And the thing is, we’re not fucking equal to each other. I’m just going to come right out and say it. It’s apples and oranges. An orange isn’t better than an apple, and an apple isn’t better than an orange. They just are different.
We need to start celebrating each other for our differences rather than condemning each other for them. Because what happens is in relationships, the woman is trying to get the man to be exactly like she is, and the man is trying to get the woman to be exactly like he is, and that’s not realistic.
We are inherently different. And I think when we can acknowledge that, then we can start to celebrate each other for that rather than demonize each other for that.
We need each other. One is not better than the other.
Overall, I loved the Barbie movie. You should definitely go see it. I thought it was beautiful. I thought there were some really great points made, and also some points for us to contemplate. For example, where are we over-correcting what has been done by patriarchy?
Whew, that was a lot. So if this spoke to you and you want to learn more about masculine vs. feminine energy, if you’re interested in doing my Masc/Fem program, make sure you’re on my email list. Actually, for anything, make sure you’re on my email list. Because I could release 8 programs and you’re not interested and that’s so perfect, and then the 9th program, you’re like, “Fuck, I want that.”
My email list gets prices that never make it to Instagram or the podcast, so just know that my email list is the only place where you’re going to get pretty, pretty, pretty sale prices. Um, and they’re like really, really good.
So you’re interested in the Masc/Fem program, which doesn’t even have a name yet, get on the list and stay tuned for that. And if you do the Connected Woman Experience, my year-long mentorship, you’ll actually get that Masc/Fem program as a bonus if you pay in full for September. Don’t miss out!
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I get it, girl. I’ve been there too. For years, I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious and pissed off.
I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected and abandoned. It all changed when I went through a break-up and thought “enough is enough. I cannot continue to repeat the same relationships with different men! Something HAS to change!”