Taylor Swift promised us in her acclaimed hit “Time to Go” that you would, in fact, know when it was time to go. It may seem like a hard answer to find, but friend, if you’re debating whether or not to put that foot out the door…that’s not a good sign.
You gotta learn to trust yourself, and what your emotions are trying to tell you. Why would you want to stay in a relationship where you’re the one who is making all the effort? You can’t want it for both of you, or you can’t want it for the both of you and expect to have a healthy relationship.
And in doing all the work for him, you make it really easy for him to stay; you set no standards, everything is easy and catered to him and his needs. He’s getting the full-on royal treatment from you with minimal effort on his part.
Maybe you break up with him and let me guess- he’s engaged within 6 months? Yeah, because that girl knew her worth and set standards. But guess what, you can, too.
My program, Connected Woman, is all about acknowledging your own worth and needs and teaches you how to empower yourself within a relationship to demand what you deserve. Because if your relationship is mostly just you clinging to the dregs he offers, what’s the damn point? What are you doing? A partner is supposed to make you happy, and should be around to make your life easier so if your relationship is mostly resentful pain, what are you clinging so hard for?
Maybe things were great in the beginning. That’s awesome, but they’re not great now and all the reminiscing in the world won’t bring the good times back. And no, he’s not going to magically stumble home one day and realize how amazing you are and realize he’s been coasting in your relationship for months, so stop with the fantasizing.
If you have a frank discussion about changing things, it might get better, at least for a while. But more than likely, he’ll respect your boundary just enough to suck you back in, and then roll back into old habits. This capability is calculated- do not fall for it. If you do, all you’re showing him is that there aren’t consequences to treating you however he wants.
Also, enough justifying his bad behavior, Patty Hurst. The man can send a text even if he’s “busy”, it takes literally five seconds. You deserve open and honest communication on a consistent basis; you’re the whole damn thought, not just the after.
If he’s not calling or making plans or doing the hot and cold dance, why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you putting up with his crap?
Someone is out there who will respect you and your time, and be grateful for the fact that you let him in your life. So why are you gripping that pile of flesh garbage who does nothing but take you for granted?
These questions can be really hard to confront, but you’re going to have to approach them and be brutally honest with yourself and him. Maybe you’re just not compatible together, and that’s ok. You just have different values, and that creates a hostile environment where relationships go to disintegrate.
Clinging tighter won’t make the relationship work, and it won’t let you avoid what needs to happen so stop delaying the inevitable and cut both of you loose so you can both find the partners you deserve.
Thank you so much for reading! Be sure to connect with me more over on Instagram, I’d love to hear what you thought of this post and what your major takeaways were! Or head over to my website to learn more about how we can work through your relationship journey together.
And don’t forget to join my signature 12-week program, The Connected Woman, if you’re ready to go from anxious & insecure in your relationships to setting boundaries, healing yourself, and living your dream life!
See you back here in the next one!
I get it, girl. I’ve been there too. For years, I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious and pissed off.
I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected and abandoned. It all changed when I went through a break-up and thought “enough is enough. I cannot continue to repeat the same relationships with different men! Something HAS to change!”