This is going to be a fun one, loves. One of my best friends, Kelsie, is here today. You might remember her from when we had a discussion about fashion a couple months back—she’s a fucking fabulous style coach and an overall badass human.
Today, though, we’re not chatting about style. Nah. We’re getting into something even juicier…and maybe a bit embarrassing, full disclosure. But I’m so fuckign excited. We’re going to talk about our own personal experiences with dating…specifically, our worst dates ever.
Michelle: So. Let’s talk about our worst dates of all time. And you know I have several. The list of worst dates is actually endless.
Now, before we start, I just want to say this: this is not to bag anyone out or make fun of anyone, especially because…I mean, I’m probably the perpetrator of a few worst dates.
Kelsie: My best dates are probably somebody else’s worst dates.
Michelle: For real. Actually, I will share a story about when I definitely landed on someone’s list of worst dates…yet they still wanted a second date, and I was like, “Uh, red flag. Are you okay?”
I barely remember it because it was so long ago. But back in those days, I used to get wasted. I used to drink my way through the day. And on this particular date, we were at a bar, and I got so fucking drunk. I was literally doing tequila shots on a date.
I got so drunk that I had to excuse myself. I went and I projectile vomited in the toilet—not even in the toilet. It was on the wall of the bar.
Now, he should have walked out. He should have been like, “She just came to party,” and he should have actually walked out. Instead, he was like, “Let me get you home.” He took me home in a taxi and dropped me off at my house, which was so sweet. He held my head in the cab as I vomited into a bag and stroked my hair and, at the end of all of it, he still said, “I’d love to see you again.”
His bar was literally so low, I had to be the one that was like, “No, I don’t think we should see each other again.” Like, I’m the one who projectile vomited—how am I the one calling the shots there? So he probably had more worst dates after that.
Do you have a story of like when you were the red flag?
Kelsie: For me, I actually do think my best date might have been somebody else’s worst date.
This man was everything that I was looking for. I was nineteen. I knew what I wanted, bless me, but I did not know how to hold that.
This guy was such a good man. He came from a really great family, and he had really good values. If I met him now, I would be like, “Absolutely, let’s get married, please.”
At that age, when a guy takes you on a date, usually you’re just going to a pub and having a drink. It’s not very romantic at all.
But he’d planned this really extravagant dinner at a fine dining restaurant. Not usually how worst dates start, but still. He was twenty-four, so he wasn’t that much older than me, but he picked this place, and I rocked up in like these tight spray-on skinny jeans and a handkerchief top.
Michelle: Oh no.
Kelsie: You know the style, the one that ties around the neck and then around the back? That was in style then, but I was not dressed for fine dining. I was dressed for the club.
Michelle: You were literally wearing a bandana as a top.
Kelsie: He didn’t tell me where we’re going! So we got to the restaurant, and I just instantly knew I was out of place. I was like, “Oh my God, I feel ill.”
Michelle: That’s when you knew you fucked up.
Kelsie: Actually, though! I was in over my head, and he was just so nice. He wanted it to be so romantic. He was such a gentleman, and I was just like, “No. I’m not having this.”
The way I was behaving, it was essentially like he was speaking to a brick wall. Afterward, he was like, “Should we go for a walk?” And I just went, “I just want to go home now, actually.”
So he was incredibly nice, and I was a total fucking bitch. But similar to what you said, Michelle, it didn’t end there. I went on several dates with this man. He was weirdly into me treating him like shit. I mean, we’ve all been there. Yeah, actually can relate, but I’ve never really been the one, the one doing that.
So I think that’s when I was the worst, even though he probably thought it was a great day, since he asked me out again.
Michelle: Speaking of the worst dates, I want to talk about the time I got catfished. Do you know this story?
Kelsie: No. I’ve never actually experienced this myself.
Michelle: Full. Catfish. As in, an entirely different human. Not like when people use old photos from five, ten years ago and they look completely different now; I mean this person actually stole someone else’s photo.
Here’s the thing, okay? I was young. I’m going to be thirty-four this year, and I must’ve been seventeen at the time. And I met this guy in a chat room.
Kelsie: Oh my god, Michelle. Red flag.
Michelle: I know. We were both red flags. Already well on the way to the worst dates list.
So I met this guy in a chat room. I had no concept of safety or anything. So what do I do? I get him to pick me up from my mother’s house. I leave my house and I see him sitting in the car, and it’s a different human.
Now, he’s not forty or anything, but he is in his mid-twenties. Again, I’m seventeen. And you know what I did? Did I turn around and go back inside? No, I got in the fucking car.
I was such a people pleaser that I thought, “I will embarrass him if I say something.” So I fucking get in the car. We go for a few drinks. I had a fake ID, because the drinking age is nineteen there.
The whole time, I just feel so awkward. Then he drops me off and says, “I’d love to see you again.” And I was like, “Are we going to ignore the fact that you’re actually not the human in the photos?” And he just went into this whole thing about how he was nervous that I wasn’t going to like him, so he used a different person’s picture. So I got full-on fucking catfished. And it turned out okay, but it could’ve been terrible. It was so dangerous. chat room. Internet safety, guys. Be careful out there.
Michelle: So, I’m curious, because you’ve done Swipe Right. Prior to that, what was your mindset about dating, and where are you now?
Kelsie: Yeah, so my mindset before Swipe Right was interesting.
First of all, I hated dating. I absolutely hated it. I hated the apps, though I think I hated them because I didn’t know how to use them.
I was dating purely based on appearance, and that was messing me up. I was going on the worst dates with guys that were not great and wondering why, but I was being so incredibly shallow, so they were also meeting me there.
I had no idea what I was looking for. I wanted a beautiful man, and that was it. I was essentially looking for a trophy husband.
And now, when I look back at the last year of me dating, it actually makes me so happy. No more additions to the worst dates list. I have dated the most beautiful humans. I’m still in touch with most of them, and I just genuinely love them. I genuinely wish them well; it didn’t work out, but they were just so great, and they really showed me how many great men there are in this world.
Michelle: I love it because it’s a different perspective, right? I’m coming from the perspective of, “I did the dating thing online and in person. But now I have the relationship, whereas with you, you don’t have the relationship, but it’s almost irrelevant.
Kelsie: Oh, totally. It’s completely irrelevant. I just know that he will come. If my history over the last few months is any reflection of what my future partner husband will be, I’ll wait forever. Genuinely. He’s going to be amazing. That’s just how I see it, because I’m dating amazing men.
Do Swipe Right. Honestly, it’s game-changing if you’re currently dating and want to meet high-caliber men. Because even though it’s not right now, it literally could be tomorrow.
Michelle: Actually, this is something that I want to say.
So much can change in a year. Drew and I are about to have our one-year anniversary at the time of recording this.
I was fully single. I didn’t even know Drew existed. I didn’t know who he was. I didn’t know that I was going to meet my partner that day. And now a year later, we live in our dream home together, we have a cat, we’ve gone shopping for engagement rings, we’ve created programs together…it’s actually fucking crazy.
Swipe Right is starting soon, so if you want to do Swipe Right, the link is below. So listen to Kelsie and check that out if you’re sick of piling up your worst dates.
Join Swipe Right, a 6-week program for women who want to date with intentionality so they can meet the man of their dreams: https://michellepanning.com/swipe-right
In-person dating event in Gold Coast, Australia: https://events.humanitix.com/date-night-gold-coast
Ready to do the work? You can find all courses, masterclasses, and more right here: https://michellepanning.com/all-offers
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I get it, girl. I’ve been there too. For years, I was going through the same experiences with men over and over again that left me feeling confused, anxious and pissed off.
I silenced myself in dating and relationships because I was terrified of being judged, rejected and abandoned. It all changed when I went through a break-up and thought “enough is enough. I cannot continue to repeat the same relationships with different men! Something HAS to change!”